Why I Moved

by rose beerhorst


collage by me.

collage by me.

I moved to Philly on Nov 9th, 2015, I’d started traveling on my own last year and was trying to work up the courage to attempt a more permanent change. Although I don’t think I was fully conscious that was what I was doing. At first I was very uncomfortable with the idea of leaving Grand Rapids, it is my home, it's where my family is --where I grew up, but the biggest idea that both kept me, and ended up suffocating me was: THEY NEED ME HERE.

My family needs me; I am the oldest of 6 kids - I helped raise my siblings - I can’t leave.

I am a key part of our family business - I can’t leave.

I am an important part of the creative culture in Grand Rapids - I can’t leave.

All of these things have one glaring thing in common; they are not something I chose for myself - but was born into.  As I entered adulthood I began the painstaking process of becoming independent, figuring out who I was as an individual. Through therapy I realized that in my childhood I had felt more like a co-parent than a kid - and that I still felt a huge amount of responsibility. But responsibility is a good thing right? how could that be bad? I knew how to cook for 8 people, change a diaper, sell art, I was “so mature for my age!”

When I moved out I ended up repeating the pattern.

I rented a large house in Grand Rapids, and filled it with young creative kids - they offered me a chance to party like I hadn’t in my teens and I would be in charge of paying the rent on time and managing the bills and communicating with the landlord. This is not at all something I did consciously at all and I was beginning to really resent my role. No one had asked me to shoulder everything - but I thought making myself needed meant making myself loved. 

The problem with this is that being the "House Mom" is not fun, sexy, or rewarding. I absolutely would not recommend it in your early 20’s! With the help of therapy I was able to see the pattern and decided to try to be radically selfish (doesn’t that just sound awful?) after all I am no one's mother -- maybe I will be someday, maybe not, but right now I am choosing to focus on taking care of myself and figuring out what I really want. I am going to get messy and irresponsible and I am going to make mistakes. Moving to Philly is a part of that and I am truly entering new territory in more ways than one.

Disclaimer: In spite of a few exceptions the people I’ve lived with have been wonderful and the responsibility I felt was entirely self-imposed.


November in Philly

by rose beerhorst


Picture from the Have Company / Brave Hand Textiles Photo shoot.

Picture from the Have Company / Brave Hand Textiles Photo shoot.

I have been going through a lot of change since my last post!

The most significant being that I moved to Philadelphia PA, November 9th. I moved in with my friend Joanna who relocated to Philly from Grand Rapids for a job at the Urban Outfitters head-quarters.

Our building in N. Philly!

Our building in N. Philly!

I’d been working up to a move like this all year, and it has been equal parts challenging and exciting. 

Right before I moved Marlee of (Have Company) and I worked out a trade where I made her a large custom rug and she helped me create a Line Sheet to ease the process of selling my rugs to retailers. 

Line sheet pics

Line sheet pics

The Line Sheet in addition of adding wholesale aspect to my Etsy shop has jumpstarted my business and I have been struggling to keep up with orders. 

A craft fair at the Urban Outfitters headquarters.

A craft fair at the Urban Outfitters headquarters.

 I’m always busier during the holiday season though so who knows…

I am also getting ready to take the Mega Bus to Chicago for Renegade Craft Fair this up-coming weekend 5-6th of Dec. its been a longtime goal to table at Renegade and am really excited! I’ll be splitting a booth with talented knit wear designer Meg Navoy of A Wool Story (:

Jo and I's room.

Jo and I's room.

I have been under a lot of pressure this month and if I could do it again I don’t think I would choose to relocate during my business' busiest time of year… Philly is a really exciting place to live though - and I’ve especially been enjoying the night life.

I want to write more in depth about my experience here in N. Philly but in the meantime I wanted to post a quick update (:


Witch

by rose beerhorst



Photo by me.

Photo by me.

When I was a child I was not allowed to consume any media that would show witches in a positive light--  Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Harry Potter..  even Glinda the good witch in Wizard of OZ was forbidden. 

Christians have been scared of witchcraft for hundreds of years in the late medieval and around early modern period.  A total of tens or hundreds of thousands of people were executed, and others were imprisoned, tortured, banished, and had lands and possessions confiscated.  The majority of those accused were women. 

Witch burning artist unknown. 

Witch burning artist unknown. 

Wise women, midwifes, old women, women with strange birthmarks, women that were too ugly or too beautiful.  Outsiders or other women who did not or were not able to conform to society (Like Joan of Arc)

God the father, Jesus the son and the holy ghost (wtf is the holy ghost?!) make up the Christian trinity.  There is very little room for women with classic church structure, it is a traditionally male dominated institution.  So different from goddess centric pagan traditions that had come before.

nymphs dancing to pan's flute joseph tomanek.

nymphs dancing to pan's flute joseph tomanek.

The feminine was completely cut off from the spiritual landscape, except for the virgin mother. 

Women were thought of as the more easily corruptible sex, week willed and lustful. (see Eve)

Luis Ricardo Falero Vision of Faust.

Luis Ricardo Falero Vision of Faust.

In the heyday of witch hunts in Europe it was believed that witches where trying to overthrow the church by holding Black Mass or Witches Sabbath.  Friday nights, witches would fly on broomsticks or be carried by demons to a secret meting place were they would cook a stew of unbaptized children, take hallucinogens, and have orgies with the devil who had taken the form of a goat. 

So I am going out on a limb here but I don't think that ever happened......  Not even once.

Magic circle by Waterhouse.

Magic circle by Waterhouse.

Although witchcraft is real in the sense that it was and continues to be practiced around the world I personally do not believe that it has any kind of supernatural result.

Sabrina.

Sabrina.

As a child watching Sabrina the Teenage Witch at my friends house, I couldn't figure out why my parents found witches so problematic, she seemed so fun and had a great fashion sense!

Witch badge by me, black hat selfie/.

Witch badge by me, black hat selfie/.

As I've grown up my parents have mellowed out on a lot of things. Being the first born you tend to get stuck with all the crazy (first pancake and all that)

Although the church no longer burns women at the stake for being accused of witchcraft there is still a deep rooted fear of female power and sexuality that is very harmful.

Lisa simpson speaks the truth.

Lisa simpson speaks the truth.

Photo by luna logan.

Photo by luna logan.

I've nicknamed my current house "Witch House" because it's hope for my friends and I to be strong, independent women, in charge of our bodies and minds. And you know what? That might be a little scary (;

After all you know what rhymes with witch?

For more witch history checkout this informative little youtube doc.


NYC Part 2

by rose beerhorst


Art by Pearl Beerhorst.

Art by Pearl Beerhorst.

 Warning the post contains poop and puke talk BTW 

The night before Dad and I planed on leaving I came down with what I thought was food poisoning but in reality was a wicked stomach flu. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I was making dinner and joking with my housemates then the first wave of nausea hit and I didn't even make it to the bathroom, I vomited all over my own feet. 

After that I was in terrible shape. I made myself a bed on the bathroom floor and voided everything in my digestive track from both ends once every half hour. I was still awake when my dad came to pick me up for our trip 6:30 the next day.

I was feeling a little better at that point (or at lest didn't have anything left inside of me) and was determined to go anyway. 

Although it had been fairly warm that week the morning we left was a blizzard and the roads were icy. I was doing better or at lest in control of my reflexes but still VERY sick.

Photo from the reck at the head of the traffic jam. 

Photo from the reck at the head of the traffic jam. 

Somewhere in Ohio we got stuck in a traffic jam on highway 80 for 6 hours! at that point I was just in survival mode, I had to get out of the car and have diarrhea on the highway. It was BAD.

Around 3 in the morning still very far from our destination we decided to try and find a hotel but there where no vacancies so dad powered through. after 27 hours in the car we arrived in NY at around 12pm.

We were staying at Hephzibah house in Manhattan near Central Park. As soon as I got there I just went straight to bed, after a while I started to feel better so we decided to go out for dinner and that was when Dad got sick............ If I had known that what I had was contagious I would have NEVER gone I was so sure that I had gotten food poisoning.

He was up all night vomiting, so violently in fact that he through out his back. 

I was weak but better at that point and determined not to spend my last 3 days in NY in bed.

One of my first outings was lunch with Meg Navoy an amazing textile artist. We have followed each others work online for years! Meg is currently studying at FIT and interning at ElLEEN FISHER It was so cool to meeting her in RL Check out her shop shopawoolstory.etsy.com & blog www.awoolstory.blogspot.com 

Rainbow Triangle Rug.

Rainbow Triangle Rug.

The whole point of my trip was to sell rugs to NY shops and build retail relationships but the rugs were to heavy for me to mange on the Subway without Dads help so at that point it seemed like a complete failure.

I met up with my friend Chris who had recently moved from Grand Rapids to Queens and his new girlfriend Molly. They were so awesome! They took me to an improv show at UCB in Brooklyn, out for pizza, out for drinks, to Staten Island and back... 

Molly has been apart of the creative community in NY for 8 years and had lots of ideas about what shops to approach with my work. She and Chris helped me carry my push cart and army bag of rugs on and off the subway to Brooklyn.

People of 2morrow.

People of 2morrow.

The first shop I triad was BKLYN CURATED the owner Kevin Jakob was super cool and said "I really like these but If you go across the street to People of 2morrow Sybil will probably buy all the rugs you have" So I did and she did!

Sybil & Dan.

Sybil & Dan.

People of 2morrow is an incredibly beautiful shop run by Sybil and her husband Dan. A bohemian mix of vintage and handmade they where just voted  second Best Secondhand Shopping in New York Magazine!!!

After the retail success we went to a potluck at Molly's friends Matthew & Dessy who have been collecting and selling vintage clothes for years check out their shop bombyxvintage.etsy.com & Instgram bombyxvintage

Photo by Jackie Roman.

Photo by Jackie Roman.

Most of the potluck attendees had been selling vintage clothing at the Brooklyn Flea and the conversation revolved around clothes and what celeb had been at the market that day (kristen stewart)  After we all stuffed our face with Molly's fantastic veggie tacos it turned it to dress up party and I ended up leaving with a floral bustier and a couple other items!

That was my last night in NY Dad and I left early monday morning. Dad had been sick up until our last day and was able to be present at his speaking engagement but mostly spent a lot of time in bed.

On the way home Listing to Bruce Springsteen in the car I cried silently for a song or too. Partly cuz it just sounded so good but mostly cuz I was so relived that despite everything I was able to do what I set out to do and even have fun!

Special thanks to Chris and Molly who basically rescued me. You are so awesome.

To Meg Thank you for inspiring me.

And Dad for the 100000th time I AM SO SORRY.

 

 


NYC Trip

by rose beerhorst in


My Dad and I are taking a trip to New York City from march 13-16 

Dad is meeting with galleries and visiting old friends. I am tagging along to try and sell my rugs to NY shops.

The NYC apartment building my family lived in 2005.

The NYC apartment building my family lived in 2005.

My family and I lived in Brooklyn NY for one year in 2005 I was 13. I didn't know anyone my age and I was unschooled which made making friends pretty much impossible. During that time I was very lonely but I didn't let it stop me from exploring, I was allowed to take the subway by myself and I loved going to Coney Island, I could be at the ocean in 15 minutes! Or walking down 7th Avenue and stoping in all the trendy little shops. 

Me, Pearl, and Shepherd on a cold subway platform.

Me, Pearl, and Shepherd on a cold subway platform.

My mom was taking pictures of my cousin's flat stanley for her school project. and this is my fav pic of me from that time.

My mom was taking pictures of my cousin's flat stanley for her school project. and this is my fav pic of me from that time.


Subway!

Subway!

Some of my first Sock Dolls.

Some of my first Sock Dolls.

When I wasn't exploring I was sewing sock monsters and listening to audio books in our tiny 2 bedroom apartment. The monsters started piling up and with some encouragement from my parents I started selling them to up scale Brooklyn toy stores.

My Sock Monsters in the Green Onion toy store in Brooklyn.

My Sock Monsters in the Green Onion toy store in Brooklyn.

The shop owners would buy them out right and email my Dad a month later to order more, It was extremely affirming! 

When we moved back to GR I was reunited with all my friends and lost touch with the shops.

I've never had that sort of retail relationship since NY all of the stores I've sold to in GR have been on consignment and very hit or miss. With this trip I hope to do what I did when I was 13 but with my current work. 

I'm a little nervous but Dad and I make a good team.